A Glimpse of the Past

Posted on April 10, 2013 by rhondakalkwarf

Image credit: andrejad / 123RF Stock Photo

I just read a story by a woman who journeyed from Iowa to Tennessee in a covered wagon. The woman was my mother-in-law’s grandmother. Keeping a journal seemed to be her way to stave off the monotony of travel. She recorded changes in landscape, climate, building materials and architecture as they traveled. She was particularly taken by the churches in the different towns along the way.

They camped along the side of the road or in open fields as they went. On at least one occasion, they slept in a cemetery. Out of the six weeks or so they were on the road, they slept under a roof one night. They paid 25 cents for seven loaves of bread. Feeding the horses proved more challenging than feeding themselves.

The sad part of this story is that parts are missing. Someone found the journal back in 1984 and transcribed what could still be read. She or he preserved the original dialect and spelling, which definitely adds to the flavor of the story. However, there were torn pages and pages that were completely missing and some of the pencil had faded away. In particular, both the beginning and the end of the story are unknown.

I asked my 90 year old mother-in-law and she remembers hearing the story. She said she thought her grandmother actually died during the journey, which would explain why the end is missing. However, after some research, I found that her grandmother died in Tennessee, four years after they would have arrived.

Eventually the family ended up back in Iowa where my mother-in-law was born. Unfortunately, no one kept a journal of that so that part of the story is gone forever.

Image credit: <a href=”http://www.123rf.com/photo_10615966_fountain-pen-on-old-handwritten-book-with-autumn-leaves.html”>andrejad / 123RF Stock Photo</a>
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Early Life Together

Posted on February 21, 2013 by rhondakalkwarf

Like most couples, we spent the early part of our relationship exploring the landscape of a shared life. Two people from disparate backgrounds come together to live as one, often in small quarters with limited resources, but big dreams.  At least, that was our experience.

One Saturday morning early in our new life, my husband and I headed out for groceries. Wandering up and down the aisles, we carefully chose the makings for our nightly dinners for the week.  Our culinary experiences were moving beyond special dinner dates to exploring the nitty-gritty of everyday meals.

We worked our way through the fresh produce and the meat department was easy. Then we got to the vegetables, which we both like.  “I like beets, do you?” I asked.  “Yeah, I like beets; you like beets?” my new husband replied.  Great; the beets went into the cart.  Likewise, we continued through the store.

Image

Image credit: tycoon751 / 123RF Stock Photo

Later at home, he approached me, clearly perplexed. The conversation went like this:

He said, “The beets are in the refrigerator?” more of a question than a statement.

I was proud of myself for thinking of it.  “Yes, that way they’ll be ready when we want to eat them.”

“But they’ll just take longer to heat,” he pointed out.

“Why would we heat them?”

“Why wouldn’t we?”

In my whole life, I’d never had hot beets, only cold pickled beets.  Turns out his beets were always hot and buttered. That night was his first time for cold, pickled beets, because the beets we bought were, in fact, pickled.  He liked them and I learned later that I really love hot, buttered beets.  Both have been staples on our menu since.

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Shared History

Posted on February 4, 2013 by rhondakalkwarf

champaign

Yesterday we returned from a trip to help celebrate the 50th anniversary of a church my father-in-law started. It was his first assignment as a mission pastor and he would have been so proud to see the vibrancy of the community he began.

It was the early sixties and the community was growing. When the church was built, it was surrounded by cornfields. Today it dwells amidst established homes and mature trees. Two additions have been made to the building, the first within a year of the original construction.

At the 50th Anniversary Dinner, the highlight of the evening was the stories. Many of the original charter members were in attendance and they shared their stories of the people who worked together to build the church community.

One man talked about how the pastor had a reputation for following the moving vans, inviting new families to church before the last boxes were even off the truck. Another remembered being drafted to start the Sunday school program and staying on to run it for 17 years. One woman talked of having to prepare sermon outlines because her confirmation class had fallen short of the pastor’s expectations. My husband shared a time when the family dog escaped from the parsonage and ran up the center aisle of the church during Sunday service.

They talked about church council, the work they did building and maintaining the church, vacation bible school, bible study, choir, church softball leagues, the women’s group, youth groups and the characters who gave the stories life.

gslcMemories shared elicited more memories and the sanctuary was filled with joy. People smiled that evening as they recalled the journey that brought them to today. There was sadness at the loss of treasured friends (including the pastor) and warm hugs for friends who were visiting from afar. Mostly there was joy in commemoration of the shared history that serves as a foundation for their shared future as a church community. That history was celebrated in the stories they told.

(Pictures are from the website and Facebook page of Good Shepherd Lutheran Church.)

 

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A Daily Journal

Posted on January 16, 2013 by rhondakalkwarf

I really know better but sometimes I am my own worst enemy. I understand the importance of a daily journal. And yet here I sit, trying to reconstruct my adventures of the last two weeks.

I just returned from an amazing trip to Thailand. Bangkok is halfway around the world, twenty two hours of travel time away and somehow, I lost a calendar day in the process of getting there. It took a couple days to get my bearings.

Then we flew to a different city. There, I bought a new journal, one appropriate for the experience. It was covered with elephants!

It was still another day or two before I sat down with a pen. When I did, I had to work to remember what we did when and which temple was which. Then I would put off writing because I needed to check the names of the temples we visited, or the dishes we ate. We were really busy, so it was pretty easy not to find the time.

I’m several days behind, but I’m working through it. These are memories I already treasure and it is easily worth the effort. I need to capture them now, because each day they fade just a little. And besides, as soon as I’m done I have to sort my pictures!

 

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A Suitable Tribute

Posted on July 19, 2012 by rhondakalkwarf

As we were planning the 90th birthday celebration for my mother-in-law, the question came up, “What do we give Mom?” There are three children with spouses, seven grandchildren, some with spouses, and ten great-grandchildren along with other family members. She and her husband live in a small apartment and, after 90 years, she really doesn’t need any more “things” in her life or her space.

But everyone wanted to remind her how much she is loved. I thought, “Why not tell her?” We collected thoughts, memories, pictures and even drawings. Even the littlest great-grandchildren were included. Everything was assembled into a tribute book and we presented it to her at her birthday party. She is still working her way through it, savoring what everyone who loves her had to share.

Every one of her grandchildren talked about spending summer weeks with Grandma. They each had their own memories and sometimes they were contradictory, but the message was clear. That special time was memorable for all of them.

My sister-in-law had a copy of the commencement speech my mother-in-law gave at her high school graduation. We included a picture of the original speech along with the content. She spoke about being the best you can be, “We are expected to make the best of every talent we have. Some people are expected to do more than others and this is rightly so.” All these years later, she can hold her head high, for she has lived the life she envisioned.

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Bullies

Posted on May 23, 2012 by rhondakalkwarf

When my niece recently “liked” this Facebook post, it showed up in her newsfeed and consequently mine:

Hey guys, this is _______. Isnt she beautiful? Lately alot of girls at her school have been ganging up on her, and telling her how ugly she is. I beg to differ, because this beautiful smart little girl is like a sister to me, and I know shes above that. I dont want her confidence to be crushed, after all everyone has said about her. because she IS GORGEOUS,

Like this picture if you agree and care.

Lets restore some of her shine ♥

I, too, was the victim of bullies when I was junior high age. I was new in a school where the rest of the class had been together since kindergarten. As the daughter of a single, working mother, I was different. Different is not good in junior high. Fitting in is good, sticking out is bad. At some unforeseen moment, the girls, my “friends” turned on me. They ignored me, they said bad things about me and I was isolated. This went on for a couple of months and then ended as abruptly as it began.

I didn’t always apply the label “bullying” to this experience. At that time, the kids who physically abused others were the only bullies we heard about. Emotional abuse was dismissed. And I do realize how lucky I was. There was no internet, no Facebook, no YouTube. My experience was painful at the time, but the hurtfulness was contained. It didn’t spread like electronic wildfire. It would have been different today.

 

Note: I decided not to include the names of the poster or the victim to prevent any further pain. I included the picture to support the poster’s premise that this is a lovely young girl.

 

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Decision by Committee

Posted on April 25, 2012 by rhondakalkwarf

I went to a committee meeting last night. Generally, I avoid such gatherings like the plague because they make me uneasy. I made this exception because there was going to be a presentation of special interest to me.

Each time I do such a thing, I am quickly reminded why I hate committees and meetings. I remember that I have a really low tolerance for bullshit. I don’t like to jump through hoops or play games. If I’m going to dance, I’d really rather do it on the dance floor.  What really is the purpose of Robert’s Rules of Order?

As I walked in, I was handed a copy of the agenda. After the silliness of taking roll call (the commissioners sit at assigned places with name plates in front of them) and approving the agenda, the only item on that agenda was to re-present a presentation given in February. What a waste of paper!

I appreciate this board of elected officials and the work they do. That said, much of the interaction last night was passive aggressive with commissioners posturing for our benefit. Clearly, I would have had to attend a lot more meetings to understand the unspoken agendas and backstories of the individual commissioners. It was unattractive and unproductive. To be fair, not all the commissioners participated.

I don’t think anyone walked out of the meeting feeling good or satisfied. The consultant presented several alternative proposals and there was no action planned at this meeting and no clear plan for when a decision will be made. Other than posturing by some of the commissioners, there was no real discussion to help me assess what might happen or how the commissioners lean.

Now I have to decide whether I really want to attend the next meeting or wait and read the results in the newspaper.

 

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Life Goes On

Posted on April 18, 2012 by rhondakalkwarf

Like we have for the past twenty years, we gathered at my aunt’s house on Sunday for a family birthday. The get-togethers have always had a standard flow. The women would roam between the living room and the kitchen, while the men watched whichever sporting event was on in the basement.

This time, I wasn’t looking forward to going. Recently, the dynamics have changed. My mother moved away to another state and within the last year, two aunts and my grandmother have passed away. My grown daughter was out of town. I feared the shortage of remaining women would cast a pall over the party, drawing attention to our losses.

What I hadn’t considered was the infusion of new life into our group. One cousin has a young son; another has two school age sons, two younger daughters and another child on the way. My own grandchildren, almost two and eight months old, were also there. The party was filled with exuberance and joy as the children chased around, enjoying each others’ company.

I was reminded that life goes on. My aunt had my grandmother’s picture on the mantle and we remembered each of the women who were missing that day. Meanwhile, the young ones in our midst merrily demanded our attention. Breakables were moved out of reach, we walked carefully to avoid crawlers, cleaned hands, noses and diapers, and one child was fished out of a sump pit. The day was lively and joy-filled!

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Eating Locally

Posted on April 12, 2012 by rhondakalkwarf

My new book arrived yesterday. I bought a book, a real book. I don’t buy many books anymore.

If you are a regular visitor to this space, you know I love my Kindle. I read voraciously and a Kindle is ideal for my needs. I download new books, free samples of books and books to borrow.

In fact, I first read this new book on my Kindle. Written by Robin Mather, the book is called The Feast Nearby. The subtitle, “How I lost my job, buried a marriage and found my way by keeping chickens, foraging, preserving, bartering, and eating locally (all on forty dollars a week)” pretty much describes the book. It is a book of essays, arranged by season. Together they tell the story of Mather’s first year living in a Michigan lakeside cabin after leaving her marriage, her job, and city life in Chicago.

I enjoyed the story, but I love the recipes. I need ready access to them. Not on my Kindle. I want to leaf through this book, making notes in the margin as I go. I know I can highlight and add notes on my Kindle, but in this case, it just wouldn’t be the same for me.

One of my current goals is to move a little closer to the life Mather describes. I want to eat locally and simply, reveling in the glory of fresh food, well-made. I’ve always eaten plenty of vegetables and this year I joined a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) program which will deliver an assortment of fresh, locally grown fruits and vegetables each week. I’m looking forward to the challenge of incorporating new tastes into my diet (although my husband swears he won’t eat turnips. This book includes plenty of ideas for preparing, preserving and serving fresh fruits and vegetables.

Her recipes reflect her experience as a successful food writer, along with her lifelong experience in the kitchen. There are recipes for simple treats and stick to your rib feasts. I’m not a particularly advanced cook, but none of her recipes seems intimidating to me. I can’t say the same about her instructions for knitting a very warm hat, but then I haven’t knitted in many, many years.

And, I probably won’t be keeping chickens.

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A Rose for my Desk

Posted on March 5, 2012 by rhondakalkwarf

Last Wednesday, I stopped by the florist to pick up a flower for my desk. I’m trying to rush spring so my first choice was daffodils, but they didn’t have any. I decided on a single yellow rose, but again, no luck. I noticed a pretty pink rose beginning to open in the cooler.

When the florist realized I would consider a more mature flower, she offered me a yellow rose they’d rejected as too open. It was beautiful, fully in its prime. Since I only wanted something to last through the next day, I bought it. She gave it to me for half price because she hadn’t expected to sell it at all.

I brought the flower home, trimmed the end, put it in a bud vase and set it on my desk. This was last Wednesday. I enjoyed it as I worked that day and again on Thursday. Friday, I was away from my desk all day and I didn’t visit my office during the weekend.

I never even thought about the rose. But today is Monday and look at it. It is still beautiful, still bringing me joy! So often, roses delivered fully closed drop their heads without ever taking time blossom before they wilt.

How did it happen that tightly closed rosebuds became more desirable than mature roses in full flower? I don’t think anyonewho saw my rose would prefer the rosebuds that are much more common today. I probably won’t get so lucky next time I want some cheer for my desk, so I’ll have to figure out how to coax this beauty out of one of those roses with potential.

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